Without the rising we fall, but without falling we cannot rise. Let me help you find your inner compass. 
As we move into the second half of the year I acknowledge my crab like exterior! A cancerian wearing that hard shell, hiding underneath it for protection - yet inside there is so much that can’t be seen, so much to be enjoyed, to be shared. 🦀 
It has been a tricky few months; more accurately a challenging start to the year to be honest. I see now I have repeatedly retreated back in the shell, it felt safer there for a while. 
 
I went on holiday by myself and enjoyed this space so much, the safely of being free to not please anyone else. Taking time to reflect on the first half of the year and realise what I managed to achieve and how proud of myself I am. 
I haven’t really spoken about my book too much, well not how I wanted to after I published it, and part of that was due to self doubt and exhaustion. I published ‘Desperate to be Loved, little notes of Self-Discovery’ in February 24. Later in March l released a Journal to go with it ‘My Little Notes Of Self-Discovery’ - both available on Amazon and my book can also be ordered into Waterstones if preferred.  
 
In April I released the audiobook on Audible and in June made this audiobook available on Spotify and many other platforms, and now here we are in July! 
 
It wasn’t until I was just searching on Spotify that I realised and there it is! I’ve lost my way a little but I’m dedicated to the journey and my part in that, whatever that may be I’m trusting it. 
As I sit here writing on 7/7 I know I have to dig deep again, the shell has to be cracked open. Inside feels so heavy, I need to let the light in, so here goes. 
 
I put a lot of time into my book, I poured me into this book! My hope that it would connect with what someone else may be feeling and in turn they feel less alone. I then found myself shrinking as a defence once more, armour on and didn’t proceed with sharing this further. Today I’m reminded that hiding in this shell is not helping, I have to stay open to be free (chapter 10!) and quite frankly this book means the world to me! I want the people that need it to be able to read it, and those who need to hear it be able to listen! 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Whether it’s working with people or connecting via my book, I want to share the simple things I’ve learned that have made a big difference to me. I want to help make a difference to others if I can and do the work I simply need to do. I want to bring balance and peace and create a space so people can find a way to manage anxiety and bring freedom to life without fear hanging on to each day. Building confidence and connection to remove the addictions. Showing up exactly as you are and finding what we all look for in someway, love. 
 
Watching my own daughter experience anxiety years ago gave me the strength to face my own extreme patterns around anxiety and as a result I learnt so much. I found freedom from anxious thoughts and addictive patterns, a way to manage when anxiety decided to pop up or anything else for that matter.  
 
Things do rise from time to time for us all, and take us by surprise but they don’t need to take hold. Anxiety is now another felt emotion, a signpost and I work with that and would love to work with you too. I share my journey through anxiety in my book. ‘Desperate to be Loved’ is a guide to how I work and what I hope to bring. 
As I’ve touched on, life has been weighing a little heavier recently, and I’ve been losing direction. I was reminded that I need to find my true north. Where am I even headed? 
 
I was then reminded of this quote by Wendell Berry: 
 
‘It may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work 
and when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey.‘ 
 
The moment I saw fear flash across my daughter’s face, the work began and then the journey. The cycle rising once more to bring the lessons I needed, things feel unstable, environments change and everything I have, all I have discovered comes forward to hold a safe space to carry this change. 
 
Secondary school is a brutal place to be. To be thrown in at the young age of 11 to a completely different environment of lessons and I don’t mean educational, it’s the life lessons coming thick and fast in the form of friendship and fitting in and hearing all sorts that a young kid just isn’t ready for. It’s a huge bloody shock and they have to keep showing up all week. How does anyone prepare for that? 
 
Everyone wants to find their place in the world and to do this amongst hundreds of different people carrying their own weight and pressures without a space to articulate how they feel is an explosion nobody has prepared for, clearly! Fitting in nowadays looks like bad language, poor behaviour, showing off, wearing the latest clothes, makeup, trainers, all seen online and so much more; anything at all to fit in. But what is everyone trying to fit in to? 
 
The simplicity of being yourself is where the freedom is yet the years roll by and we slip further away from this. Beyond that the communication just goes way off, inappropriate and disrespectful conversations rippling throughout causing tidal waves of damage along the way. A tsunami of toxicity, and all the while these kids again just trying to fit in and keep up. 
This loop continues, trying to fit in, keep up, listening to a whole new dictionary of language and life lessons which quite frankly the young mind isn’t ready for, but still everyone tries to fit in, keep up once more and lose parts of themselves instead. To see your child try and fit into this madness seems crazy! This keeps going because on the surface enough children keep up the image that all is well, hidden behind layers of makeup and filters and the rest feel that to get there is where they need to be. Of course there are some children that are fine, we all face and need experience to shape us and grow and the rest of it but there has to be more balance. 
 
We need to be finding and connecting to who we are not losing ourselves. Slipping away so the trauma to be worked through becomes BIG. Many of us don’t even begin to see this until years, decades later; inside these kids just want to be kids. Don’t we all really still want to play, not letting life become too serious? I know I do. 
 
Anxiety is becoming ever present and disabling children from going to school, adults not showing up at work, and people quite simply not able to be themselves. Disconnection everywhere. 
 
We need the opposite, community, communication, love. Children feeling emotionally safe to go to school. Adults feeling emotionally safe to communicate and in turn find the connection we all seek. 
 
I find it very hard to articulate what I do but when I set up ‘Room 478’ it was so I could create a ‘room’ anywhere, where people can come and be as they are.  
 
The 478, the number of my room essentially. The 4-7-8 breathing technique was a life saver for me, this is why I chose this number. When I was really anxious I did this technique over and over. I share more about this elsewhere on my website, as well as a link to the breathing technique if you want to try it. 
 
I also wrote a book, this book ‘Desperate to be Loved’ is my journey from anxiety and fear to love and self acceptance. The reason I wrote it was so that people didn’t have to feel as alone on that journey like I did. My explanation and experience of how I felt and what helped me in this book along with a few poems and things I found so beneficial to hold my hand along the way. 
 
This book is available in all formats; you can read it on Kindle, Paperback, Hardback. You can get it on Amazon, order into Waterstones, whatever you like. It’s also available to listen to as sometimes we prefer that way. You can get it on Audible, and now it’s available on Spotify too if you want to take a listen or know anyone who’s struggling with anxiety, low self esteem and or low confidence as my book may help. 
I’m going to be sharing my book online so it is more accessible throughout the year and I welcome anyone to get in touch. 
 
This book is a guide really, my guide and this is the way I work. 
 
‘I find it really hard to articulate what I do, but people keep coming back.’ 
 
Let me help you find your inner compass. 💞 
 
Without the rising we fall and without falling we cannot rise. 💞 
 
I hold a regular class in Marlow twice a month on a Sunday evening, all details on my website. From 9th September I have a new class starting which will be held weekly on a Monday night, near Amersham / Beaconsfield. On the first Monday of the month I will be holding a teenage circle at this venue too. This begins 9th Sept. 
 
I also work one-to-one, in groups, with corporate and privately and love this work that I do. I deliver mindfulness and meditation in my own unique way, pulling together all my leaning, training and personal experience to find a way to work best. 
All details are here on my website www.room478.co.uk. 
 
So there we go, do reach out or get in touch if you’d like to. 
 
Lastly, if you’ve read my book, attended one of my classes or worked with me in any way, please let me know what you think. It helps me to try and deliver my message more effectively, which is really important to me. 
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