Another Door Opens. Overthinking.

Leaving behind our thoughts can be difficult, but when you write down how you feel, fully emerging in those feelings, however painful, something magical happens. When I give those thoughts space to be seen and noticed, as I write them down they leave my mind. Seeing them laid out in front of me rather than becoming them, now instead I get to see them. An understanding starts to unravel in front of my eyes. What once felt overwhelming now feels manageable. For a second, whilst present in this moment, anxiety is relinquished. 

 

Anxiety has been my go-to coping mechanism for so long that at times I almost feel anxious to not be anxious! As mad as it sounds, the unravelling of this hidden addiction still sometimes catches me out. How the mind works in such a way, that habits become fully stuck in motion. So many times, without even realising it, when anything became too much, I would obsess about a new health issue. Anxiety taking a tight grip on my thoughts. My focus then on the loop of fear rather than on the sadness felt deep inside. I must catch myself even now. I see that the more I delve deeper into understanding my journey, there’s more space available for emotion to rise from deep inside. So again, I am entrenched in the battle of anxiety versus healing. Writing is the key to the centre of my heart. Each time I reach for a pen I create an opening, knowing I rarely know where to start. And so I begin; I explore what’s present with little attachment to what ends up on the page but instead notice a movement within. 

 

Another door opens. It really does and I share my journey from anxiety & fear to love and self-acceptance in my book; Desperate to be Loved. 

 

Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right.