Posted on 17th October 2022 at 12:07
I’m not quite sure why but of late I’ve not been able to complete anything I’ve written. I start, then don’t finish. Alternatively I read through what I wrote and just don’t like it at all. The result: pages of words with no conclusion.
I soon established it hasn’t only been my writing, many ideas planted and they just don’t ‘grow’ anywhere. Why does this happen? Well, just like the weather if the conditions aren’t right then growth will not always look the same, but it doesn’t mean progress isn’t being made.
For me lately it has been my self belief. Not seeming able to move anything forward the way I’d like, feeling rather stuck and blocking myself!
In the wake of beating myself up for this setback (after-all I’ve fixed myself…right!?), I looked down at my blank page and reminded myself that just because we learn to manage something it doesn’t mean we won’t have the odd hitch! It’s all part of living and it’s OK. Just because today isn’t quite as plain sailing as yesterday it doesn’t mean instant failure. Somedays we are simply more focused than others and occasionally we need to just stop. During our life we will have calm waves and with that possibly a generous dose of stormy seas.
The important thing is to begin where you are whatever your internal weather and conditions. Notice what you can and can’t control and move a step at a time. Waiting for that perfect moment or I’ll do it Monday…? The thing is if we wait for the right time we may never get started. And sometimes it’s OK to realise that at times things don’t work out and it’s OK to start again.
Struggling for the words to flow I thought, I’m just going to begin where I am, first I’ll write a sentence and not get caught up in what I write as it’s the writing I get pleasure from, the process not the outcome. Mindfulness teaches us just this. The only place to begin is now, not being caught up in what the end result will be or all the moments that have been where I didn’t get to complete what I wanted - I’m starting here. Now!
So the advice I share here is that if we wait until everything is perfect we could be waiting forever. Sometimes the only thing to do is accept where you are, move forward with love and jump in! If it feels right - do it. If it regularly takes you away from who you are - get rid of it, and if it makes butterflies flutter in your stomach just feel the fear and do it anyway.
“For what it’s worth, it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
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