I love being alone but no longer feel lonely
Posted on 12th May 2022 at 18:47
With this week being Mental Health Awareness week and the focus on loneliness, it really got me thinking about what loneliness means to me.
Does loneliness have to mean you are physically on your own, nobody to see or speak to? Or can you be surrounded by people, work, events seeming to have it all together and still feel that isolation inside?
I think it’s easy for me to conclude that both are possible and something I have felt.
From time to time things aren’t always the way we want them to be, coping looks different for us all. Harbouring that sense of loss carries pain, sadness, an unsettled feeling. What are we to do to move through it?
Prior to practicing mindfulness and meditation when I felt lost, anxious or had a problem of any kind I would hide behind never ending lists of things to do. My way through looked a little like; digging a hole, burying the problem and running past it again and again at high speed, stamping it down a little further thinking it would go away.
Had I resolved anything? Did I feel better? Had the loneliness passed? No! I had just accumulated more pressure, piled on by myself - in turn allowing no space to process how I actually felt.
Living in my thoughts left little space. Crushing connection along the way and creating those lonely pockets inside.
Something I once read by Russell Brand really stuck with me; ‘Get out of the thoughts and in to the feelings.’ This is very good advice and a great place to go when you need a little clarity. Suppressing what’s going on doesn’t help.
It can be a huge challenge to face how we feel, a really tough road may lie ahead. But by taking that initial step and simply bringing awareness to our thoughts and feelings, it can help us move through.
For the only way out is through!
We must move through difficulty in our own time, asking for help along the way if we need.
I have realised that since making these changes and approaching what I face in a mindful way. Not embarrassed to ask for a little help when required. I can now move through, baby steps, but I’m no longer glued to the start line! I get to actually notice my journey along the way rather than miss it.
Each time I get stuck the first thing I try and do is look from a place of non attachment. To remove the personal and take an angle as though I’m talking to a friend. By doing this we can tackle the issue itself instead of all the emotion and pain we personally hold around it on top.
As we start to implement mindful awareness we gain confidence and in time begin to feel safe and secure. It’s from this place we can navigate the best we can through the obstacles we face.
You don’t have to suffer alone.
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