‘Suspend your judgement and sit with the sadness.’
Posted on 17th November 2022 at 11:59
Things don’t always work out as we thought, this can rock our confidence, evoke emotion and distrupt our internal stability. When feeling overwhelmed it can be difficult to see a way forward.
Being Mindful of your emotions and internal weather enables you to be present, not racing ahead to where you feel you should be, nor looking back at how you could have made different choices. Where you are now is what matters and simply being with your feelings even if this is sadness & heartache - it gives space to acknowledge this.
The healing that comes from giving freedom to your feelings is greater than you may think.
Once upon a time I would have tried to hide my sadness away. Ashamed to be upset ‘again’ with so much judgement on myself for feeling this way, but why do we do this? There is no shame in being sad.
Society often spur us on with the message to be strong, be brave, keep going - alongside endless fear messages to fuel our thoughts. Overwhelm all to easy to sucomb too. How can you be filled with fear and told not to express?
I notice that I mostly tried to hide the tears as I could see it made others uncomfortable. I didn’t feel as though my problems were as valid as someone in my eyes, suffering bigger trauma. The struggle continues and the sadness and shame buried once more. This not making the loss you feel inside any less present.
Brene Brown, a hero in my eyes, says:
"If you put shame in a Petri dish, it needs three things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in a Petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can't survive."
Whatever you’re suffering it’s important. We often deny ourselves this empathy, but we mustn’t. We all need to understand bravery is also found in being vulnerable.
Feeling your emotions inside gives space to release all the additional baggage we so often carry. If your heart is breaking, acknowledge that pain and empathise with yourself, let those tears fall down and notice how you feel. By dousing ourselves in empathy, the sadness won’t last forever, the loss may still be present but you’ve released some layers so you can be with what's there.
Quite simply you have freedom to be as you are, who you are and that’s OK.
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