How often do we pause and take a moment to listen to ourselves, to really listen? An intentional S.T.O.P. during the day to check in. A chance to become curious about how our breath feels, how our bodies feel, and to notice what sensations and emotions might be present.
We always seem to want to get somewhere or reach something. But what about meeting ourselves exactly where we are?
That's why I wrote Can You Hear Me? An Emotional dictionary: Where Feelings Find Their Voice. It's an invitation to have a conversation with yourself, essentially, to explore what's present, once more, to be curious. To welcome your emotions, whatever they may be. Remembering there is always an opposite and perhaps recognising that we can't know love without grief.
Through my work with people, both on the radio and as an integrative holistic therapist, I am discovering more and more that the collective feeling is a desire to feel safe enough to belong.
But where do we begin when we are often using outdated templates?
Firstly, we can S.T.O.P.
Stop - Pause and feel your feet on the ground. Really notice them.
Take a breath - Notice where you feel your breath in your body.
Observe - What's happening for you right now? How do you feel? Don't try to change anything. Once more just notice.
Proceed - Continue with whatever comes next for you.
Throughout our lives we build a bank of templates for survival, but even though they become outdated over time, we still use them for ease … or we think it’s easier. When maybe underneath it all, what lies beneath the surface in the wonderful layers and complexity of bodies are invitations to create new pathways, new rhythms that work better now. Our needs change and if we welcome what’s felt inside now (and not what we assume to be true) - even if just for a moment - instead of pushing it away, we can adapt and overcome.
Are multiple outdated templates keeping you disconnected? This is something to be curious about. An invitation to the why. Disconnection brings isolation, and this is very different from solitude. In isolation we can feel anxious, depressed, cut off and much more; being aware of these feelings places the first slat on the bridge to belonging we often seek.
I share much more about how we can access our own slats to build that bridge in my latest book, Can You Hear Me? An Emotional Dictionary: Where Feelings Find Their Voice.
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