Desperate to Be Loved
Posted on 1st April 2025 at 09:52
The desire to be loved is natural, it’s a longing we’ve all felt, but too often we look for love, for validation outside of ourselves. This chapter invites you to pause and recognise that love begins within. By understanding your worth and accepting yourself as you are, you’ll find that love no longer feels elusive. When you open up to loving yourself, the world reflects that love back to you.
I burnt out at work, working with no lunch break day after day, cramming in as much work as I could into my days with not a moment to spare. As soon as I left the office, off to collect the kids and mum role would kick in, through till bedtime I would fill every moment with something to take myself away from my fearful thoughts. I never made any time for myself and I would flop in a heap with exhaustion at the end of the day, before it began again.
Looking back on it now, I see that I’d allowed it all to happen, but I had to learn from the struggle. I didn’t want a break; I didn’t want to stop and have time to be with my thoughts. I had waited on my family because I’d chosen to do so. I’d exhausted myself for far too long as I thought that’s what I should do.
My passion and soul had been suppressed but I knew there was a deep inner strength, something bigger than the fear to help me release it all again, but I pushed it down, feeling like it was easier to maintain my anxious habits rather than face change. Like anything, I assumed the fault lay with me. Even as I write this, the old voice of judgement arises once more: I should be spending time with the children … I haven’t got time to take a break … There is no time! … Am I selfish for prioritising me? … I feel I’m letting others down.
I was permanently trying to do and control EVERYTHING: every little detail at work, at home, preplanning. I tell you; this is a draining, tiring place to be. Control is a common coping mechanism when suffering and that was certainly the case for me. My lack of sleep was also beginning to be a real problem (despite feeling constantly exhausted, I just couldn’t switch off).
I was at breaking point, I did burnout. Anxiety took over my life, but a way out formed, and it can for you too.
Read more on my website, or in my book ‘Desperate to be Loved’
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